SKU: 86163821162

How to Be a Footballer - Peter Crouch

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How to Be a Footballer - Peter Crouch**Winner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year** 'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' Sunday Times 'The funniest man in British sport' Metro Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A

**Winner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year**

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times

'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro

Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans

You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay GBP250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

Can't get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 Live

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Lake Worth, US
★★★★★ 4
Good quality for the money
Size: 10, Color: White
Really happy with the fit! The pants are a little big, but it’s nothing a belt can’t fix. The sleeves are on the short side, but my son is very tall so that could be the issue. My main complaint is the buttons get caught on threads when you’re buttoning and unbuttoning. So the quality isn’t perfect, but for the money it’s not too bad. Besides that, it’s very sleek white, slim fit, and looks great.
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Omaha, US
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Size: 5, Color: Light Champagne
Está muy bonito la tela está fresca trae todas los accesorios q dice le doy 10/10
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Birmingham, US
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Farryn
Carnegie, US
★★★★★ 5
Great fit!
Color: Black, Size: 10 Years, Color: Black, Size: 10 Years
My son is 10 years old, about 4’ 8” and around 80 lbs. I ordered the size 10 and it fits him perfectly! We did need to tighten up the waist of the pants so I was very thankful they have the adjustable waist. He looks so handsome in the tuxedo and the material seems to be comfortable even though it’s polyester. The regular tie hangs down too far so I will have to figure out the best way to adjust it to sit where it’s supposed to but the bow tie does have an adjustable strap. For the price I don’t think it can be beat, great value!
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Carnegie, US
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A little big, but the adjustable band helps. Good material and he looked great!
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Reviewed in the United States on April 30, 2026

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